Tony – My Story

Life before Christ…
I came to know Christ as an adult just like my wife and most of my family only I was the last one to accept Christ. My wife kept on bugging me to go to Church but the more she wanted me to come, the less I wanted to go. Then one day she quit asking me to Church and suggested I read the Bible. I thought that was a good idea, so I started reading the New Testament. At the same time I started carpooling to work with a Mormon who would tell me what they believed and I would compare that to what I was reading. Mormonism seemed manmade but the Bible did not. After the birth of our first son Donald, I started really looking for truth.

When I met Christ…
It was from reading the Bible that I finally understood that I was a sinner and that Jesus didn’t just die an innocent death, He died for me. In May of 1983 in my own home I prayed to God to forgive me of my sins and thanked Him for the sacrifice of His Son for me.

Since I met Christ…
Since that day in May my life has completely changed. God has revealed Himself to me and let me in on His Kingdom plan. My wife and I have seen God start two new Churches in The Colony, save my wife and daughter Rebekah from death during childbirth, save me from a head-on collision with a dump truck, and bring salvation to people in China and South America. All of our children have accepted Christ. I see God at work in everything. Recently, He has helped me to better understand His Word and explain it to others. He has helped me solve problems at my work as a computer programmer that I could never figure out on my own. The best thing is that I have a future hope, I am not alone, I have a helper and comforter, and each day is an adventure.

Chapter 4 ‘How to have a good fight’

(The answers to the questions I ask are in the comments.)

People…What to do with them?…. I love John Ortberg’s title “Everybody is normal…until you get to know them”. Once you get to know them and rub up against each other there will always be places of conflict. If you haven’t experienced much conflict it is probably because your group is not really getting to know each other. Conflict will definitely come.

So, how do you react on the Tightrope? Kindness………………………………………..Confrontation.

Bill and Russ offer Healthy Conflict as the resolution to this challenge.Blog Discussion Question (BDQ1): Tell us a story of challenging confrontation you’ve experienced in a LifeGroup. I have a funny one and a serious one. So, since we don’t always get along should we try to fix that or just live with it. What is the motivation? Bill and Russ answer that by looking at our primary verse for LifeGroups, John 17:21 that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you. May they also be in us so that the world may believe that you have sent me. Christ’s prayer was for us to experience the same level of oneness that He and the Father experience. That is a high bar! But the end of the verse highlights why. So the world will believe. People’s lives are at stake. We must get this oneness thing down so that people far from God will believe that He sent Christ to initiate a relationship with them. The confrontation challenge is one we must take head on and win, because the stakes are so high. Reread that section from page 97 through 101 and let God’s Holy Spirit quicken your spirit to fight for oneness.

 “Healthy conflict can facilitate some of the most transforming moments your group will ever have.” Pg. 104 I’ve said that healthy conflict can serve as steroids in building oneness. It is really an open opportunity to become one. BDQ2: Have you experienced this in a group?

The group stage diagram on pg. 105 is great and very helpful in preparing each one of us as leaders in anticipating what kind of conflict is around the corner and realizing that it is normal. The authors list a few other factors: Relational Unawareness, Extra Care Required and Interpersonal Tension.

Matt. 5:23-24 and Matt 18:15ff both provide the urgency and steps in healthy conflict resolution. The key that I have seen over and over again is 'keeping it between the two of you'. As leaders, we must have the courage to ask someone who is complaining about someone else if they have already talked with them directly. If they haven’t then tell them to zip it. When you say ‘zip it’ make sure you have a smile on your face:). Seriously, the point is to be clear and yet loving in your response. Check out the appendix on pg. 201 for more guidelines.

Now go out, rub up against people, resolve conflict in a healthy way when it arises, become one and participate in the cosmic redemption story.