Has anyone ever pulled out a gun in your LifeGroup? Well at one of my LifeGroup meetings someone had brought a gun to give to someone else. The funny part was that the person held the gun in their lap during our entire LifeGroup gathering. I was very careful in confronting the gun holder It was all very docile and actually a great story that we laugh about now.

On a more serious note, one group I was a part of had a person who needed a job. The problem was his reluctance in actually finding one. We had a one-on-one meeting and I was able to challenge him about doing his part in climbing out of the hole he was in and not depending on the group to do it all. Our next group meeting was a little tense when it was obvious that he had not done anything and still expected our help. One guy blurted the obvious out ‘do something about it yourself’. He didn’t say it with a smile on his face either. We clearly communicated with him and told him we were there to encourage and help after he started carrying his own weight. It allowed the oneness in the group to grow.

Have you every told anyone to zip it?

With respect to myself, I don’t have a problem with self-disclosure. That has always seemed natural for me. In fact if anything, sometimes there might need to be a little more editing before I speak. Restraint might be a practice that I need to work on.

BDQ 2: Ok, this is the tough one for me. I don’t like confrontation. Actually that’s even an understatement. However, as I’ve wrestled with my own personal relationships God has taught me that conflict can be good—-when the truth is spoken in love. Notice the “love” part of that equation. I loved the author’s story of the church member who asked him about his opinion regarding the member’s desire to serve in a certain leadership role. It’s on page 79 & 80 in the book. I love the way the author spoke the truth even when he knew that it would be difficult for the person to receive. However, in doing so, he communicated honesty, authenticity, concern and unconditional love to this individual. That’s a conversation that ultimately had the potential of leading to transformation in that member’s life. That’s a model that I would like to put into practice. It’s as if the author spoke to the member in words that Jesus would use—full of grace, compassion and understanding.
For myself, I’d like to think that I have a teachable spirit and am willing to accept criticism, but without question it’s always a little difficult to hear.

BDQ 3: I think my LifeGroup does well at most of the 5 practices. I think we could use some work in the area of admonishment (to me the hardest) and with a portion of our Group we need to work at the need to “know and be known”. In order to work on growing our relationships with one another, the “know and be known”, we are going to put into practice meeting once a month or so, at a members house on a weekend night, breaking bread together, doing our study and just hanging out. Since our Group meets on Sundays we need to move out of the Sunday School mode and more into the “doing life together” mode. One practice that we’ve adopted for the last 5 months is that we keep an ongoing prayer list and it is emailed out to each member at the beginning of each week. It’s bonded our Group together spiritually and helped us to see God’s amazing provision in our lives. Now that’s something to celebrate!

I am not sure where it all started, because as a child I was was VERY emotional… cried at the drop of a hat. (Really, it was rather pathetic ) Somewhere along the lines of life, I began to respond to situations mentally. Maybe because it is more safe, less vulnerable. But I can’t break the trend. I hate it sometimes. As a result, I think that my leadership has often been more heady as well.

Our lifegroup does an okay job of balancing caring and teaching. We have a large group, and frankly, my schedule makes it very difficult to get entangled in their lives, as much as I’d like to. I am praying that God will open my schedule so that I can have more time to connect to them away from home. In my situation, I think between my schedule and my own insecurities, I am my own enemy.

We had a group a few years ago that really was just focused on doing a study together. We came to the point one night where we had to ask ourselves, “What are we doing?” We were doing the study material but we weren’t hanging out together or contacting each other through the week. We weren’t caring for each other much at all. We came together and decided to make a change. Even when you decide to care it still takes time to really become a caring group. That group never quite made it to caring… but my next LifeGroup did make it there partly because of the experiences in the other group.

Which quadrant of that diagram are you biased toward and best at – teaching or nurturing?
I tend to fall a little bit toward the caring side. I resonate with the statement that “people don’t care what you know until they know how much you care.” As I think about balancing teaching and nurturing in a LifeGroup, I probably need to find and empower a person in the group to champion the grow purpose in order to balance my natural tendency to focus on care, connect and serve.

Looking at my relationship with Christ, His example, and the need for radical transformation in my life in order to be who God wants me to be, means that sometimes instead of getting chocolate, God serves up a heaping helping of broccoli. I’d rather eat chocolate, but God knows the broccoli is “good” for me and what I need at the moment. OK, and sometimes He gives me chocolate!!! Again, it’s the BALANCE of the two that reflects His incredible and incomparable love for us.
I think personally, it’s being ok with living with that tension, the pull to one side or the other, the need to act using Godly wisdom that requires me to be on my knees seeking His face–and that’s a good thing!!
I love it when the author says “Once you recognize the benefits of holding two good things in tension, your future gets a little easier to manage. Instead of fighting the tension, you can use it to your advantage. Managing tension keeps things in balance…Like walking a tightrope, balancing these tensions can be exhilarating and dynamic”.

One of the things I love about God is the ADVENTURE we get to be a part of…so let’s pack our bags, get on board and ride it out. Even with the ups and downs, it’s going to be a blast and definately NEVER boring!!! Thank you God for the chocolate and the broccoli!!

There is so much of God all around us that I suppose all we really need is to ask God to show himself to us through our environment. Perhaps that is what Jesus was good at, finding God in life’s situations, maybe that’s why he had so many stories so handy.

Thanks for sharing Allen, I was encouraged.